Horoscope for Russians for 2022

Nicholas Zharkikh

I have long (though rarely) corresponded with the famous Indonesian astrologer Zordadan Shkiriani. And so I could not stand and asked him – what are the stars predicting to the Russians for the coming year?

And Zordadan wrote to me what he had read on this subject on the walls of Borobudur.

Aries – will live badly this year, but not for long. He will be killed in Ukraine by the end of the calendar year. It is worth writing a testament right now. The only good thing is that his corpse will be eaten by dogs and relatives will not have to spend on burial. But in Russia his death will not be recognized, and he will be considered a traitor and deserter. So the testament will not be fulfilled.

Taurus – will be able to make a good career. To do this, you need to report that your chief he is a Ukrainian spy. It doesn’t matter where you apply, the result will be the same. The chief will be arrested and Taurus will be appointed in his place. The operation can be repeated.

Twins – Everything is very good. In 2022, he will not starve to death because he is lucky enough to beg for a crust of bread. If he dies of starvation – not before 2023.

Cancer – Also, everything is very good. He will not die in a car accident, because his car will suddenly break down and due to lack of spare parts will never drive again. There will be no money for new cars, as well as new cars.

Lion – not too bad, but rather good. His iPhone will receive summonses from the military commissariat with invitations to the war in Ukraine. It’s not so scary, the main thing is not to spare money for the military commissar.

Virgo – will go on vacation to Turkey, where she will be beaten every day. There will be no money on the way back, she will have go home by walk (through Armenia and Georgia).

Libra – Everything is very good. He will go abroad (ie to Ukraine) in a tank and burn, before he even feels pain. Stugna – is like that.

Scorpio – relatively good. He will die in severe agony from radiation sickness, rolling on the carpet taken from Ukraine through Chernobyl. Neighbors will applaud and demand a repeat of the number on the "encore". Then they will also die in agony. Radiation sickness is contagious!

Sagittarius – relatively good. His wife will run to the winners, who will feed her Roshen candies, and she will be… (here is some slang expression, and I’m not so good at Indonesian to translate it).

Capricorn – donates all his savings to the construction of a new cruiser instead of the sunken "Moscow". The authorities will steal the funds raised by the people, because Russia is not able to build a new cruiser. Mykolayiv, where cruisers were built, is Ukraine.

Aquarius – very well. In Ukraine, he will be hit in the forehead by "Yarosh’s business card" and he will die without suffering, just sprinkle his brain on neighbors. On this occasion, it will be found out that he still had a brain.

Pisces – very well. He will be under house arrest at his villa in Spain, awaiting extradition to The Hague. Extradition will take place no earlier than 2023.

Translated on April 14, 2022 in Kyiv.