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Mykola Zharkikh (Kyiv)

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Let them not sleep now!

Nicholas Zharkikh

The website inspired me to write the following materials. It was created so that scientists from all over the world could present their work there, and for a long time it successfully fulfilled its mission. I also post there .

But with the beginning of Russia’s war against Ukraine, some echoes began to reach the Academy. Yes, there began to appear some toothless calls to end the war and appeal "».

Here is a little explanation of how the Academy website works. When you publish your material there, you can open it for discussion (typically it lasts 20 days). Anyone who has viewed this material is automatically considered a participant in the discussion, and then receives e-mails with comments made by other participants in the discussion.

The discussion of the above appeal on March 26, 2022 gathered more than 800 participants, and which! There’s rusophils from around the world, and they the hallow believes that Ukraine is shelling its own cities.

Seeing that it is impossible to convince rusophils with rational arguments, because it has no head (yes, a scientist, especially humanities, without a head – this is another discovery of the year!), I decided to start another key.

Rusophils are insensitive to rational arguments, but are able to feel, in particular, fear. That’s why I decided to beat on this point. Do not explain what and how there in Mariupol, but simply write: "there is no food in Russia and will not be anymore." The stupider and more obvious the nonsense, the easier they will be to believe it, and if will not believe it, at least the underlying bother will remain.

And my first "comments" in this spirit (they are below) show some success. Rusophils screamed and seemed furious, but there was nothing could do: twice a day the Academy carefully sent out my next "messages" to 800 addresses. "They may not died, but they will no longer have such a health."

The title of the article is explained by an very old anecdote:

Abram goes to bed, but sighs and moves. Sarah asks him:

– Why do not you sleep?

– You know, darling, I owe Moses a hundred rubles and have to pay tomorrow, but I do not have…

Sarah runs to the opposite wall and punches it. Moishe’s sleepy voice:

– And what?

– Moses, do you owe Abram a hundred rubles?

– Yes, and what?

– Yes, he will not give them to you!

Sarah returns to bed and says:

– Let him not sleep now!

Mar 23, 2022 (evening)

To the attention of our colleagues from Russia.

A new denunciation website has been launched in Russia. They go straight to the prosecutor’s office. I know the address, I do not provide it, you will find it yourself. (Probably, not one such site already exists).

The algorithm is simple:

1, you are denouncing your boss (well, «condemning the operation in Ukraine» or «expressing dissatisfaction with President Putin’s rescue course for Russia»).

2, your boss is arrested or at least removed from office.

3, you have the opportunity to make a brilliant academic career.

Don’t waste your chance! Who first woke up – that get slippers.

Mar 24, 2022 (morning)

Dear colleagues from Russia!

I beg you – do not defecate in the elevators!

They write that there are 5 months of spare parts for elevators left in Russia, and there will never be more elevators.

Mar 24, 2022 (evening)

Dear colleagues (from Russia and not only from Russia)!

The Ukrainian Disinformation Bureau is urging you not to pay attention to the disgusting and low-quality misinformation of the Russian media. Only our misinformation is really false, carefully checked and does not contain a single word of truth. Beware of fakes, follow the news from the Ukrainian Disinformation Bureau!

Mar 25, 2022 (morning)

The Ukrainian Disinformation Bureau heard a rumor that the gypsies had painted over the flight number and name of the «Moscow» missile cruiser, stolen it from Sevastopol and sold it at Sothbey auction.

We carefully checked this rumor and found it completely false:

1. The Sothbey Auction does not sell second-hand items.

2. It is impossible to hijack a cruiser from Sevastopol, because for some reason unknown to us, it cannot start.

3. If the board number and name were painted over, it was so that the gypsies could not find the cruiser among other ships.

Do not believe the false rumors! Only the best, most probable lie from the Ukrainian Disinformation Bureau!

Mar 25, 2022 (evening)

As you know, at its historic meeting on March 24, 2022, NATO applied to join the territorial defense of the Brovary city, in the Kiev region.

The Ukrainian Disinformation Bureau tried to get a comment from the Territorial Defense Headquarters.

Initially they sent us on the course of a Russian ship.

Then they understood and answered: no, they have not received applications yet. Will receive – will consider. But today the situation is such that NATO does not meet the requirements of the Brovary territorial defense and has to improve on many indicators.

Follow our news! Only here – always fresh quality disinformation!

Mar 26, 2022 (morning)

Readers ask the Ukrainian Disinformation Bureau: Do we know of a more shameful capitulation than that of France in 1940?

We answer: we know nothing more shameful in the history of France than the complete refusal to ravage their capital Paris before the enemy invasion. Only the destruction of the French city of Lyon by the French in 1793 can compete with this.

Mar 26, 2022 (evening)

The Ukrainian Disinformation Bureau has received incredible information that Russia is preparing a law on sugar. Its preamble states that Russia imported 100% of its sugar from Ukraine, and it is time to end this:

1. Sugar is not and will not be anymore.

2. Consumption of sugar is harmful to health.

2. Everyone who buys sugar, thereby finances Ukraine, Ukrainian nationalists and Bandera. This should be considered as an internal enemy.

We, the Ukrainian Disinformation Bureau, do not believe in this rumor at all and consider it not very high-quality disinformation.

But we still advise our readers from Russia to get rid of sugar invisibly. And then anything can happen…

In the evening of March 27, 2022, the academic rusophiles did not survive and hid. When I tried to post another piece of misinformation, I received a message that the document (an appeal to "our Russian colleagues") had been deleted by the author. I don’t know whether it is really the author or the administration of the Academy website, but the fact is that "the discussion" ended prematurely.

I think rusophiles felt – something went wrong and instead of the world’s rusophilic harmony, they get informational napalm in a squeak. Thus, 850 rusophiles lost the opportunity to receive our high-quality disinformation.

I will not believe for a moment that any of them changed their minds or even thought about it, but it is possible that the subconscious fear remained. And this is our success.

Mar 26, 2022 in Kyiv.